"For years, I suffered in silence - emotional, physical, mental, verbal, and financial abuse. You feel all alone, settle, and think that this is all that exists.
I toiled and continue to toil with questions about why this is acceptable. Why there are so many systemic dysfunctions about treating a wife and daughter-in-law (a Kaur) humanely? Why have cycles that occurred in the past not been rectified? Why do we sweep these issues under the rug?
I am a survivor because every day I make a choice not to be governed by their harsh words or actions. No one has the right to take away my happiness.
As a Kaur, I removed myself and my son from repeating a vicious cycle of dysfunction. My goal now is to raise him under a roof where there's equality, honestly, loyalty, real love & respect for one another so he can grow to become a man of values and morals.
For me, healing is about collecting as many pieces as possible. It's finding words for what I am seeing and feeling - even when it sounds crazy. It's daring to speak my truth until it makes sense.
There was a moment in my journey when my denial crumbled. Too much had happened and I realized my experience and it's continued effects on us, it wouldn’t "just go away". That was my breakthrough moment. It was like the sun coming out to warm the seeds of hope so I could grow our personal garden of empowerment. Each day I wake up for my son. He is my shining light and my purpose. Everything I do, I do for him.
My biggest takeaways are taking pride in taking back my life and that a huge supportive network exists. Organizations, external agencies, and community infrastructure is in place. One just needs to be ready, on their own terms, to access it."